What a fucking SHITTY DAY!!!!

I'm feeling a lot better than I was a couple days ago..probably all the drugs leaving my system ANYway..me and AJ went for a bike ride yesterday down to south mission and around the bay it wass amazing. today we're gonna ride to la jolla  : ]  whenever he puts down the xbox controller and gets the fuck up!

There are so many birthdays this weekend, it's annoying. And I feel bad that I don't have any money to do Brentons pub crawl with him..oh well. He won't even remember it haha..

I've got an undying urge to move back to my parents house and change/fix everything that is wrong with my life. There are so many things I used to do or want to start doing, and I feel like I just can't pursue them while living here..

I totally neglect the gym or any type of exercise/outdoor activities, I never do anything artistic outside of work...I have this AMAZING camera that I rarely use, I'm always broke, I never hang out with my friends outside of this circle, I don't see my family enough, I don't read....EVER. My self esteem, strength, security, and confidence have been completely robbed,  and to top it off, I've gained almost 30 pounds since last summer. I'm completely miserable...

I'm physically and mentally exhausted. I always feel like I don't have time for anything, yet there is absolutely nothing that is consuming my time. [job excluded]

I just want to turn my life around and become the person I was right before I fell into another relationship trap.

I love AJ like crazy, I just don't like who I am when I'm with him. And I feel like I can't change who I am, until I change my scenery.

I've been extremely busy at work lately and it just makes me wanna sit down and do absolutely NOTHING when I get home. I can't even get myself to take a shower right now...but I have the weekend off YAA! Party @kate sessions aaaand Logan's all in one day.

Not that anyone cares but I'm really happy that Kris Allen won American Idol! Although Danny was the love of my life :[

Gonna be rollin' in the dough once I start this chalk menu job for Claire De Lune! And now I know I charged her waay too little haha...but oh well. It's my first side job so I guess it's cool.

Is it June 27th yet? I'm in the mood for EDC!



Tasha did my hair! But it's fading FAST :[



This is one of my favorite chalks I've done so far

That's all really..

gahhh im high as fuck right now and about 8 beers deep. going to beds gonna be a bitch. i hate fifa soccer for xbox. i loove moosehead and marlborough mediums. i need a new phone and a hair cut. i dont wanna work tomorrow at ALL. I fucking HATE working saturday. Wi wish Amechi didnt stop eating/buying sweets. I REALLY want a snickers ice cream right meow.

This weekend was pretty fun...got to hang out with Jess AND Natalie!! Ate BOMB shrimp and swordfish from Daniel's work and watched the Chargers lose terribly!

So Alison is gonna go work for Don at his new store in Carlsbad which will make me the head sign person at La Mesa :]  Which I pretty much already am cuz I work the most hours...but she's worked for Trader Joe's for like 8 years...

Amechi is into weird things like meditating and healing people and stuff like that which I think is really cool, so i asked him to heal my ribs and he did and it actually worked. Well not completely...they're still sore. Before it used to hurt REALLY bad to lay down or try to get up from laying or sitting, and now it barely hurts at all. Trippy...

Anywho..



haha..i love daniel

Brenton got some crazy card from his sister who works for corporate amc...and fofr the rest of his life he gets into movies for FREE! PLUS he can bring 3 GUESTS...FOR FREE!! I wanna go see that movie about biggie smalls..

I'm almost done being poor. In two more weeks I should have substantial finances...but with my luck, who knows!
No snowboarding 'til my birthday cuz.......well for one, we both can't afford it. And two, my ribs are gonna take a while to heal. But until then, I've got a bottle of vicodin and a bottle of flexeril!

I got a tripod for christmas!


this is what AJ looked like in highschool...[green hair]


aaaand this is him now..

...i know...

Bruised: breast bone, rib cage, hip bones, neck, VAGINA bone.

New Years ruled......stayed in Troy's cabin and went snowboarding new years day. Completely ate SHIT twice. I'm hurtin' :[

JUST got back from Big Bear and I'm sore as FUCK. Snowboarding was amazing and it was beautiful out. We stayed in Troy's parents cabin and it was pretty sweet...you could just hop over the wall and snowboard down to the lift...I REALLY wish I had a cheap camera I could take places like that, but mine broke....so no pictures  :[    The charger's game last night was the ONLY game of the season that I was actually into, but I couldn't keep my eyes open for the whole thing. They won though! wooo

Now I need to take AJ to work [sucks to be him]...and go to Bill's shop with Jill to get something pierced. But until then, I'm taking a nap.

Okay. SO things have been pretty good lately, considering I'm sick  : [   and DIRT POOR. I hate sinus infections, and even more, I hate paying for speeding tickets, traffic school, and medical bills which are completely unnecessary. On the plus side, I finally "live" here now. I'm paying rent next month [which is not so much of a plus] but at least I will have my giant, comfy, non lumpy bed again! I like AJ's bed but it's just not big enough for the both of us.

This weekend wasn't terrible considering I called in sick to work today and yesterday. Christmas was pretty good. I got a lap top, a tripod for my camera, an iPod adapter for my car...and AJ is taking me snowboarding tomorrow! Technically I'M taking HIM, but he's paying!

Tim's birthday was siiick. I only have a few pictures because I let Fred hold my camera all night...a lot of good THAT did.


Me, Tim, and Lauren


Tonyyyyy and Jon


Blake<3


mike<3<3


Daniel




me&joe

Last night was sooo retarded! Went to the Padre game with AJ, Jess, Bill...and everyone and had suuuuch a good time! I'll have pictures up later. I think the majority of my daily caloric intake comes from beer. I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life before...it's seriously fucking amazing. I hate the stupid way we are...<3

Last night was Daniel and Rob's birthday....way fun...
We ran out of beer pretty early, so Jenny and I went to the liquor store to get more, but when we cameback with PBR, everyone turned their fuckin' noses up....so Jenny and I each drank our own 12pack haha


some random guy in the alley took this picture










I'm rediculously happy

So this was probably the best 4 day weekend ever.



And now I have a boyfriend?


: ]


yes

I'm not gonna see Jess until Monday!!  : [

But I've got a 4 day weekend I'm STOKED about!!!

I had the best weekend ever. My family reunion was AMAZING! I love my dad's side of the family  : ]

I took Cambria to the Del Mar Fair today  : ]

HULK SMASH!



whore

<3


I drank two bottles of champagne last night and wasn't even drunk :(